In Time (2011, d. Andrew Niccol)

So last year, I saw In Time and was horrimazed at what an absolute mess this movie was on just about every level possible. This belated post is to try and explain why, from a bunch of stream-of-consciousness notes (rants) I made at the time. 

Be warned: I'm just going to go ahead and spoil the whole movie for you. One, it's not possible to talk about the crazy badness of this film without discussing the details, and two, hopefully after reading this you'll not want to see it for yourself. Unless you happen to like complete trainwrecks, in which case I recommend you rent it for cheap, then down a few drinks beforehand if you don't want to be going "...what the - did they just - but that didn't make sense - really?!" every couple of minutes.

So you know you’re in for something awful with the first line - the first time (chortle) there’s a portentous use of the word ‘time' (and there will be many of these) - when we start with Justin Timberlake staring pensively (i.e. blankly) out a window. 

Oh JT. Such a great musician. Such a terrible actor. The king of literal choreography goes all out in his first starring role but is shown to be lacking within minutes of the start. In his face off against Matt Bomer, a quiet one-to-one scene in an abandoned warehouse, Bomer manages to convey more with one look in his pretty blue eyes than JT can even try with his whole body. 

In fact, Matt Bomer comes off best in this whole movie because he looks utterly gorgeous, he's only in this travesty for 5 minutes, and his last scene doesn't involve flinging his dying body into JT's arms so he can weep horribly and scream “NOOOOOO” dramatically to the sky (sorry Olivia Wilde). Vincent Kartheiser comes a close second, well cast and doing his best with the poor material as the cold, rich bastard dad of Amanda Seyfried's character. Of course, when one of your villains is the most logical, intelligent and relatable person in the whole movie, you have problems...oh, and what problems they are!

Apart from JT being so wooden and unconvincing as an actor, Seyfried looks like she’s here only to pick up a pay check in a bad wig. But that might not be all her fault - she's been given absolutely nothing to do as her character, Sylvia, is entirely underwritten as the clichéd sheltered rich girl longing for some excitement in life. When excitement supposedly comes in the form of being Stockholm’d into a Bonnie-and-Clyde lite relationship, it's unfortunate JT and Amanda having zero chemistry. The relationship comes out of nowhere except for the fact it’s scripted and it’s literally laughable - when they mechanically move into place to kiss for the first time, the only thing I could do was giggle incredulously, as did the two rows of people behind me in the cinema. Even more unfortunately, JT has more chemistry with Olivia Wilde, who plays his mother. 

Wait, there’s more! On top of the bad acting, there's odd choppy editing, really terrible lines (poor Cillian Murphy - completely wasted as a character whose incomprehensible motivations waver all over the place - has to utter inane gems such as “I'm a timekeeper...I keep time”), the egregious mis- and overuse of the word time ALL OF THE TIME, and some completely random characters for god knows what reason. Alex Pettyfer as the only British gangster in an Ohio ghetto in a ridiculous and unnecessary subplot - why not? Johnny Galecki, hopelessly miscast as an unbelievable 25-year-old alcoholic - hey, this cast can't look uniformly hot! 

But even more than these sins, this movie hurt me most, deep in my soul, because there was absolutely no internal logic or consistency. Niccol (the Australian writer and director) blow his wad trying to set up and exposit this complex world of rules using time as currency, and then flies in the face of it all in just about every scene and plot twist. Firstly, the monetary system itself. Four minutes for a cup of coffee! Loans of a month at 30% interest! People living literally day to day! Dear sir - no economy could ever run like that .And then supposedly, the solution Will and Sylvia come up with to right all wrongs is to steal 1 million years from Sylvia’s dad (which just made me lol and think of “one miiiiiiillion dollars”). And again, Vincent Kartheiser is the only one who’s smart enough to point out that um, what good's that going to do for the larger population? 

It's like no one understands maths in this world!

And yet, more stupid events occur - like Will and Sylvia robbing a timelender with a smash and grab. You mean no other criminal element in the ‘ghetto’ has ever thought to do the same thing? And then Will and Sylvia able to do this extraordinary crime five more times without getting caught by either the non-existent guards at these timelenders or the cops? Not to mention Will keeps hiding out at the same places within blocks of his crimes, over and over again, and yet the police don’t find them for ages. And when they do finally catch up with Will AT HIS OWN DAMN APARTMENT they park right out in the street so Will and Sylvia can see them coming and have enough time to get dressed and escape out the back – which no cops had covered. Because there's only three cops in this universe. 

Also, while the rich people all have bodyguards, they must really suck because Will manages to hide himself in a pack of them without detection. And when he reveals himself, the other 9 armed guards give up without a fight, and none of them raise any alarms when their wealthy employer is kidnapped and taken hostage. Uh. 

And don’t even get me started on the ARM WRESTLING. That's right, in order to expound on Will’s sob/back story, JT and Pettyfer have the world's most boring and ridiculous confrontation where they arm wrestle TO DEATH. Then there’s the other stupid death scene, with Cillian Murphy killed by the most stupid deus ex machina ever (and yes, once again, it involved impossible time shenanigans). So Will, earlier in the movie, manages to make his 2 hours from capture last from night to day and across several "timezones", overtaking even Sylvia’s clock, but somehow Cillian dies because his character forgets to top up his per diem at just the right moment after surviving 50 years of policing. Riiiiiiiiiight.

I could go on but let me summarise: this movie's not just bad, it's lazy and careless and a waste of some real talents. I mean, Oscar nominated cinematographers! Oscar winning costume designers! The writer of Gattaca and The Truman Show! A really attractive cast, with some fantastic talent (plus JT). And yet, the sum of its products is this fiasco that is so terrible that ripping it to shreds kept Al and I amused for hours afterwards.

Justin Timberlake - 1 Nov 2007 - Acer Arena

Considering how disappointed I was the last time JT played in Sydney, buying the (again v. expensive) tickets this time around was a bit of a wrench. But I'm so glad I did go, because this time around he brought the spectacle that I so wanted last time, the consummate showmanship, the real deal. Starting with the stage, a technical marvel in and of itself, which looked so bare and deceptively simple but turned out to be this intricate interlocking series of platforms. It was highly effective and bringing to the fore whatever part of the show was being featured - the back up singers, the musicians, the dancers, and of course, Justin himself. The whole stage show was awesomely done, from the amazing use of stage, lighting, visual effects and choreography, which didn't distract from the music, but helped enhance the concert experience into an all singing all dancing extravaganza.

The concert started with 'FutureSex/LoveSound' which worked really well to build up the atmosphere, from Justin’s voice in the dark with the ominous rhythmic hook backing him up to a brilliant interplay of light and sound. And then it was two solid hours of mostly hits with a few of his ballads thrown in. The instrumentation was great, the arrangements were good if not inventive, and there was lots of great dancing all around the stage – basically, everything you could possibly ask for from a pop concert done really really well.

Justin looked great, but his banter was terrible – apart from some obviously honed monologues about Aussies and drinking and surfing, he spent most of the night yelling “SYDNEY!!” at random intervals, eliciting huge screams for sure, but after the 8th time I was pretty sure everyone was clear on which city there were in, thanks. However, his voice was good and clear; it had its nasal moments, but he'd improved greatly from his NSYNC days. There was an obvious backing track, but excusable in light of how much dancing he had to do as well. Oh my goodness, he is such treat to watch, dancing singing and performing his little heart out.

There were problematic aspects, like the use of stripper-like dancers in 'Damn Girl', where the explicit sexuality just seemed too much and out of place considering the themes – costume and dance wise – for the rest of the night. (Also, rather distractingly, the dancer on our side looked A LOT like Britney in her VMA performance but y'know, not sedated) And as I said, the arrangement stuck really close the CD. The ballads still don’t hold up as well as the brisker songs, though they are few and far between and cushioned well by the dancier numbers, so the energy never flagged.

I also approved heartily of all piano playing moments; the projection screens were great in that they would show close ups of his fingers on the keys, mmmm. The encore was Justin alone on stage, out of his costume and in just a worn grey T-shirt and jeans, playing on the piano. It was a nice way to end the night, slower, but still very pretty (and the song wasn’t bad either. Boom-tish!)


FutureSex/LoveSound
Like I Love You
My Love
Senorita
Sexy Ladies
What Goes Around…Comes Around
Chop Me Up

Rock Your Body
Gone - Take It From Here – Last Night (medley)
Damn Girl
Summer Love
Losing My Way
Cry Me A River
Lovestoned
Sexy Back

(Another Song) All Over Again